Asp - Eleison

I spend my days in self-disdain
And I feel so ashamed
Because I know that in the end
I would do it over again

You'd better
You'd better done it

I can no longer bear this cage
That you forged out of lies
And I get stronger in my rage
Say can't you hear me cry

You'd better
You'd better done it

Why didn't you kill me
Why didn't you kill me when you could
Why didn't you set fire on my pyre
It would have been better if you had killed me there and then

Why d'you kick me in the stomach in your boots
I can neither breathe nor speak
I try to protect my face mith my hands
But we both know I'm too weak

You'd better
You'd better done it
I don't know if you're still cutting me
And if you know that it's in vain
I don't know if you're still shouting at me
Can't hear anymore feel no pain

You'd better
You'd better done it

Why didn't you kill me
Why didn't you kill me when you could
Why didn't you set fire on my pyre
It would have been better if you had killed me there and then

Is it wet because you spit on me
Or is it blood that I spat out
Will you stop just for a while
Please tell me do I still smile
Do I cry or am I laughing out loud

I wonder if you're still cutting me
And if you know that it's in vain
It doesn't matter that it hurts
I cannot understand the words
No matter how you cry or shout I feel no pain
And I feel nothing but grief
And the fear of seeing you leave
And the shame of knowing I would do it over again