In-quest - Neo-pseudo Existence

A new fake existence
as universe aligned
I've seen a red handed halo stirred within
untamed and bitter
a soul went awoken
a feline once frail and broken
the more I cling and crawl, distance rises
a predators's thrall
as water streaming upwards
has me drowned, the myth of sisyphus turns real
terminal sickness, purge my exitence
I found the track to my other self
lost, succumb to my fate irreversibly blocked
I failed you in vain I flew you
the prey hunt, the deer shot
inseminated melancholy, contaminated without empathy
terminal sickness, purge my existence of this piteous throwness
I choke a neo-pseudo existence
where despise and desire can't be told apart, where pain boils
in the soil of the soul
and a fading will reigns the heart my perception without cure
for you a truth too obscure
isolated, battered and broken, I bity my way through these restraints
senses numb, behind a grinfrozen
I dispossess of once treasured lost faith
magic with morals
you're reluctant, yourself to embrace or endure
meaningless thoughts derail
in moments of atonement amorality prevails
5 minutes, a wish never granted, angelic nectar implanted
imagine the marvel of utopian perfectin
unmasked a fraud
a mockup in sudden insight
catharsis undone
you chose a neo-pseudo existence
shaded whit shallow stripped emotions, where your life is nothing but a hollow shell
and your words are void of devotion
the way things once believed end in sorrow grieved
and what once surprised is demystified
catharsis undone