He got shafted in Bradford for his out of date routines up there
And the trouble he ran into Brighton was more than his share
He's been running for thirty years, he would have settled down
But each town he appears in puts a red nose on the clown
You can buy the old showbills and frame them, they're nearly antiques
You can trip up on his big clown shoes as you're starting to speak
He squirts the flower, hurts your hand, it'll always catch you
And his tears are etched so deep that they might just be tattooed
The one man circus is coming to town
Put the banners up, take your trousers down
Paint on a smile, wipe off the frown
Heaven knows he won't hurt us
The loose, the lovely and the lonely
One night only
He said 'I played Chaplin for Hitler in March 44
Been a black and white minstrel before that whole thing was outlawed
And I've dragged it on every pier in every seaside town
But there aren't any dances today, the pavilions have all been pulled down
I came over straight after the war and they hijacked my name
I waited for so many years but my wife never came
I've been learning these lines every day since 1945
And I'll recite them everyday I wished I was alive'