Sweeney Todd - Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

Toby: Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention puh-lease?
Do you wake ev'ry morning in shame and despair
To discover your pillow is covered with hair
What ought not to be there

Well ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again have a worry or care
I will show you a miracle marvelous rare

Gentlemen, you are about to see
Something what rose from the dead--
On the top of my head!

T'was Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
That's what did the trick, sir
True, sir, true

Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir!
Just like an elixir
Ought to do

How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed

Does Pirelli's stimulate the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
'Tis unique

Rub a minute--
Stimulatin' innit?
Soon you'll have to thin it once a week!

Sweeney Todd: Pardon me, ma'am, what's that awful stench?

Mrs. Lovett: Are we standing near an open trench?
Pardon me, sir, what's that awful stench?
Sweeney Todd: Must be standing near an open trench

Toby: Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Anything what's slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli's!
When they see the thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls!

Wanna buy a bottle, mister?

Sweeney Todd: What is this?

Mrs. Lovett: What is this?

Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss

Mrs. Lovett: Smells like-- phew!

Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss

Mrs. Lovett: Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear

Sweeney Todd: This is piss…
Piss with ink

Toby: Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir

Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir--
*leaks* right through

Toby: Yes, get Pirelli's!
Use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it!

Mrs. Lovett: Flies do too!