Trails Of Anguish - Beyond Charismatic Sickness

I was dilapidated, but still backstabbed in bitterness
Though to had vanquished the disdain of living
I was assured I had overcome scorchful misery
But none ever really ceased, it compelled me in deceit
Lured me in existential anfractuosity
Emaciated the bareness of my will

Now I stare, enthralled by ravenous choirs of self-deprivation
Suffering the reminiscence of past injuries, or yet to come
For time has vanished, as well as love, here, in this (my) Necrodome
All that is left belches of apathy

Surrounding humans sometime befall to this aura
Intrigued by what seems grimly unattainable
Secretly wondering what is that chokes light
But there is no pride, for I'm sadness in its purest form
Even in my brightest effulgence, I was admonished
By mutters of purity, who've pierced my Armour of understandings

Oh, I begged for recrudescence, in this life, morose
Muted and blinded by darkness, which aggrieves me For none has tasted the pernicious obscurity, as I did,
the conceited vengeance
We all sought, for it has dissipated in forgiveness
Tarnished grandeur I desecrate, from my fathomless scorn

I was given birth remorsefully in this antithetical reality
Surrounded by worthless contorted visages
Who seeks affability and compassion, through my depths
Who exist to justify my hatred, to cripple my dreams
Wounded shapes averting their gaze, furthermore from truth
Gagging in beatific haze, as their insignificance suppurates:

But who is skimming retribution?
Me? Who's secluded in this cold realm, of creeping calmness?
Or the ones masked behind dead lights of fulfillment?
I drift away in melancholy, passing by glancing hopes

Haunted by macabre flaring disgust
Where fragments of idle moments, are befouled with casual anguishes
Enticed by dying essence, of spectral lurkers
Feeling the liquidity of a soul unrested